One minute you look in the mirror and a young woman looks back at you. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, you realize the image has changed. The woman looking back at you has a few more wrinkles, more gray hair and looks closer to a grandmother than a college student. Although some may feel some distress at these changes, it does not need to be a reason for despair. Avoiding a midlife crisis can be helped along by strategically looking at how you can thrive during middle age.
Define Your Next Chapter
For many women, they may have envisioned what being in their 20s and 30s would look like, but hadn’t given much thought to what life might be like after that. Now that time is here, and you need some clarity on what you want your life to look like. What do you want this next phase of your life to look like? What excites you? What do you want to leave behind? When you are intentional, patterns often start to emerge that can lead you down new pathways.
Prioritize Your Physical Health
Like it or not, time impacts our physical health. One day you can skip the gym for a month and you can hop back in with little consequence. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, you skip for a month and when you return you can’t make it through half of your workout. Not to mention you are incredibly sore and your recovery takes longer.
Taking care of yourself isn’t optional—it’s essential. Start with small, sustainable changes. If you are beginning with your diet, think of one healthy change you can make and stick to that for at least a month before you add a second one. New habits take time to form. This can be as simple as cutting down your soda or coffee intake from three per day to two then to one.
Commit to moving your body every day, even if it’s just taking a walk. Don’t look for the closest parking space – intentionally park far away and get in those few extra steps. The goal is the ability to do your daily living activities with ease. Focus on things that help with energy and longevity. The American Heart Association recommends 150 minutes of moderate exercise per week—just 30 minutes a day.
Prioritize Your Emotional Health
Your emotional well-being is just as important as your physical health. Be mindful of what—and who—you allow into your life. Be mindful to set boundaries with those who drain you. Think about your friendships and surround yourself with people who fit your current emotional needs.
Even if you have never really leaned on others for emotional support in the past, be open to doing so now. This can be through therapy, coaching, or a close trusted friend who has traversed (or is traversing) a similar transition. The important thing is to have a safe place to process your emotions.
Allow yourself time for mental breaks. You do not need to be productive at all times. Taking breaks, without guilt, is essential to emotional well-being. Have compassion for your need for rest. Treat yourself the same way you would when you notice a loved one is on overload. Taking care of your emotional health means acknowledging your feelings, giving yourself grace, and making choices that protect your peace.
Protect Your Sleep
Sleep impacts everything—your mood, energy, and overall health. Unfortunately, many midlife women report that they don’t sleep as well as they used to. If you are struggling with falling or staying asleep, it’s important to implement well known sleep best-practices. This includes sticking to a bedtime, limiting screens right before bed and sleeping in a cool, dark, comfortable sleep environment. If you continue to struggle with sleep, reach out to your health professional to talk about causes and options for managing symptoms. This should include a conversation about hormones, particularly those related to perimenopause and menopause.
Cultivate Gratitude
Gratitude isn’t just a buzzword. Engaging in gratitude is a powerful mindset shift. By appreciating the things you have – both seemingly inconsequential like your morning coffee or life-defining like your family, you can rewire your brain. The more you focus on the positive things in your life, the more your brain will focus on positivity and abundance.
When you are able to acknowledge all of the good things going on in your world it is easier to work through the more challenging ones.
Set New Goals
You may be feeling a bit directionless as you enter into this new phase of life. Setting goals, both large and small, can help you find a sense of purpose. As you work your way towards your goal, you may realize you need to shift. That is fine. This is about working towards something rather than filling your day with inconsequential time-fillers.
To increase the chances of meeting your goals they need to be realistic and achievable. You may have heard of the SMART framework. This framework can help you create effective goals.
SMART. framework:
Specific: What exactly do you want to accomplish?
Measurable: How will you track progress?
Attainable: What obstacles might you need to overcome?
Realistic: Is this goal achievable for you right now?
Time-sensitive: Set a deadline to keep yourself accountable.
Remember that small wins lead to big changes over time. Start where you are – even if it feels small – and build from there.
Stop Comparing Yourself to the Past
In this world, we are inundated with constant messages that aging is something to fight against. It can be hard not to look in the mirror and compare your current self to your 21 or 31 year old self. Yet, aging is a privilege. It does not diminish your worth, it deepens it. Honoring all of the lessons you have learned throughout the years is what makes you uniquely positioned to make the next phase of your life a great one. Remind yourself that you can’t have that wisdom without aging. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities you can have. Own your wisdom, and wear it proudly. It will do more for how you and others see you than any shapewear or skin-care routine out there.
Nurture Your Relationships
Midlife can potentially be isolating if you’re not intentional about connection. Friendships may change and fade. Your kids don’t need you as much. This is a time in life where you may need to reconnect with old friends you miss. It’s also a time to cultivate new relationships that align with those goals you have set for yourself. Prioritize spending your free time with people who make you feel good. People who understand you, are curious about you, and respect the person you are becoming in this phase of life.
Stay Curious
It’s important to keep learning during midlife. Avoiding a midlife crisis can be helped by challenging yourself to learn new things. This doesn’t have to be formal education – though that is absolutely a great option for some. It can be exploring a new hobby, picking up a skillset you’d always wished you’d had or learning a new language. The important thing is to keep your mind engaged and challenged. Not only will this help you find joy in midlife, but it will also help your brain age well.
Manage Stress Wisely
Stress will take a toll on both your physical and emotional health. The way you managed stress in the past may not be the most effective way to manage it now. One of the great things about being middle age is the ability to say no to more things. And having clarity about what things you simply do not want to do. You may no longer have to take the entry-level job because it’s the only option. Or go sit in the sun at your child’s baseball game even though you secretly do not enjoy it. Assess where you now have more control in your life and use it.
If you don’t have a stress management regimen, now is the time to implement one. Try new things – or revisit old ones that may not fit into your life in the past. Nowadays access to free meditations, guided breathwork sessions, online exercise classes, and other practices make it easier than ever to try something out without much to lose. Be mindful of how choices in food, alcohol, and caffeine impact your body and notice if changes in diet help decrease your stress levels.
Let Go of What You Can’t Control
Those things you don’t have control over? Let them go. Worrying about things beyond your control is exhausting. And it never changes anything. It’s wasted time and energy that only leaves you feeling worse, not better. If you are facing new challenges in midlife that you can’t control, be honest with yourself about the best way to manage.
Know what you can and cannot do about a situation and focus on what you can do. Be sure that this response will support your well-being and is worth your time and effort. As you enter this new era, remind yourself that you have earned the right to protect your peace. Some things are simply not worth the mental energy and you have bigger goals to address.
Avoiding a Midlife Crisis
Midlife does not have to be a crisis. If you can shift your thinking to this time of life as an opportunity, you will find it unfolds with much more ease. Midlife brings a myriad of opportunities that you did not have, or could not take advantage of, during your younger years. Know that you deserve to thrive – not just survive – during midlife. Avoiding a midlife crisis requires you embrace this stage of life with confidence, strength, and a plan. If you do this, you will find avoiding a midlife crisis is the effortless outcome.